


Akira Kurusu has changed his name to :NastyCrimeBoy

by Aeshaettr



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Cafe Leblanc (Persona 5), Chatting & Messaging, Confidant chatroom, Multi, Persona 5 Spoilers, Thicc Futaba, Thotkira, let ryuji say fuck, softboys, softestboys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-01-04 11:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12167625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeshaettr/pseuds/Aeshaettr
Summary: Thieving is hard. Keeping it secret is harder.Welp, time to make a chatroom for everyone who knows.





	1. This is a bad idea.

**Author's Note:**

> Hecking doing it you nerds can't stop me.

_Akira Kurusu has added: Ryuji Sakamoto and Ann Takamaki to Crymetymes._  
  
  
 **Akira Kurusu** surprise fuckers  
  
 **Akira Kurusu** welcome to the non-thieves related chat  
  
 **Akira Kurusu** have fun   
  
**Ryuji Sakamoto** wait what- oh, cool man.   
  
**Ryuji Sakamoto** huh, you seem talkative here.  
  
 **Akira Kurusu** look man I'm barely awake, Ushimura-sensei's voice is just hhhhhh-

**Ann Takamaki** guys, shut up. Class.   
  
**Akira Kurusu** yes mistress goodbye.  
  
 **Ryuji Sakamoto** ABSKDJABS WHAT.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** AKIRA?!  
  


* * *

**Akira Kurusu** so hey guys wassup  
  
 **Akira Kurusu** hold that thought a second, actually.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** There we go.  
  
 **Ryuji Sakamoto** askdas what. why are you like this in chat and not in person  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** WE STILL NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE MISTRESS THING, AKIRA.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Cuz I gotta pretend to be a normal highschooler. And also, no we don't.

**NastyCrimeBoy** it never happened shut up.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** witnessed.  
  
 _ **RunRyujiRun** has sent an image  
  
_ **NastyCrimeBoy** traitor  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** oh my god you two.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** this was a bad idea. but thanks with Kamoshida.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** no probs  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** he was a scumbag, yo.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** that reminds me, gonna add the other idiot who knows about us  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** huh? who?  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** wait, what?  
  
 _NastyCrimeBoy has added Yuuki Mishima to Crymetymes_  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** oh! hey Mishima!  
  
 **Yuuki Mishima** Hey, Takamaki-san! Is this the not-thieves-chat  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** yup, welcome. I'm Akira, btw.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Oh, hey there! I'm guessing RunRyujiRun is Sakamoto-san.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** yup! Hey, Mishima! whats with your name?  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** it works in english!  
  
 **Youki Meshima** It's an English joke.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** jfc, well. Gonna go grab a tablet from Akihabara  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** what why, and with what money.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Morgana and Metamoney  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Your...cat?  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Yep. See ya later.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** Akira is confusing sometimes, dw about it  
  


* * *

  
**NastyCrimeBoy** your glorious leader has returned.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** oh no.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** W O W.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** so rude. so mean.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki _❤︎  
  
_ NastyCrimeBoy** **_SO RUDE_  
  
Youki Meshima **Did you get your cat a tablet?  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** setting it up now.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Wheres Ryuji anyway.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** jogging, I think?  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** jogboy  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** ahsdhasd Jogboy  
  
 **Jogboy** you call?  
  
 **Jogboy** AKSJDAISJDA AKIRA  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** yeah wassup.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** stop that  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** I refuse. Anyway, I'm gonna get to bed. Me and Morgana will be on tomorrow. NIGHT!  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** night, leader.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** good night, Akira!  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Good night!  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** So polite. Brings a tear to my eye.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Morgana's your cat?  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** yup. Later losers.

* * *

  
  


 


	2. Actually not a cat.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana joins the chat. Mishima gets confused.
> 
> Akira gets in trouble as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohmygod the reaction earlier was awesome so here have another chapter you filthy animals <3

**NastyCrimeBoy** wake up you plebians ITS A WONDERFUL DAY.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** its also like 4 am why are you even up.  
 **  
NastyCrimeBoy** Why are you up?  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** shower, food, make-up, train. Duh.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** oh yeah, I forgot people live somewhat sensible lives. But, anyway.  
  
 _NastyCrimeBoy has added Morgana to the chat.  
  
_ **NastyCrimeBoy** surprise, I bring a Morgana.  
  
 **Morgana** hwelko lsd Nn.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** He's getting used to the pad of the tablet. I think.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** how is he even using it.  
  
 _NastyCrimeBoy has sent an image._  
   
 **Ann Takamaki** IS HE USING HIS NOSE.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** OH MY GOD THIS IS ADORABLE.  
  
 **Morgana** I NM NIKT AFDORABLE.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** He's getting better, as well. That's the Mona I know and love.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** that must be hard, though  
  
 **Morgana** and, got it. I am NOT adorable.  
  
 **Morgana** It IS rather difficult, but nothing one of my caliber cannot overcome.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** lets not let that bobblehead get any bigger, Mona.  
  
 **Morgana** I like you better when you are quiet.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** idk, its interesting seeing Akira without a filter  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** #nofilternohate  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** wait, no, go back to being quiet Akira.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** you can't tell me what to do you aren't my mom.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** Akira Kurusu go to your room.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** only if you join ME)AL:SDAS  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** WOW, AKIRA?!  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** STOP THAT AT ONCE.  
  
...  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** Akira?  
  


* * *

  
**RunRyujiRun** holy shit what happened in here.  
  


* * *

  
**RunRyujiRun** AKIRA WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Morgana has sharp claws and I aggressively flirted at the highest speed.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Now my face is full of pain.  
  
 **Morgana** Good.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** Good.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** Hey, Morgana! Where's the tablet? **  
  
Morgana** In this guys bag, with me. Even in the real world, I am sneaky.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** That really is your cat, huh, Kurusu-kun?  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** what you think I lied to you?  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Kawakami-sensei was looking at you very strangely today.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Yeah, she dragged me aside after class, asking if I got in a fight.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** I told her the truth. That my cat is VICIOUS sometimes.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** omg, you idiot.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** I'm still leader you can't tell me what to do.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Yes we can.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** You guys are weird..  
  
 **Youki Meshima** How can a cat be a Phantom Thief?  
  
 **Morgana** I'm NOT a cat!  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** True, he's not a cat. In other news, Ryuji  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** wassup, bro  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Where can I buy catnip?  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** And now, I run from my cat. AKIRA AWAY.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** You guys are so weird.   
  
**Youki Meshima** It kinda suits you!  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Thanks bro!  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** I think?  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** I'm surrounded by morons.  
  
 _NastyCrimeBoy has changed the chat name to 4 idiots 1 blonde_  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** aksdjas AKIRA!!  
  


* * *

 


	3. Us, to be honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Songs, memes, and tomfoolery.

**NastyCrimeBoy** guys  
  
**NastyCrimeBoy** guys  
  
**NastyCrimeBoy** guess what  
  
**Ann Takamaki** whats up, leader?  
  
**NastyCrimeBoy** our model gun dealer is terrifying and hot and I can't handle it.  
  
**Ann Takamaki** uh- what? I haven't actually seen him.  
  
_NastyCrimeBoy has sent an image._  
  
**Ann Takamaki** O H  
  
**NastyCrimeBoy** I KNOW RIGHT. BE STILL  
  
**Ann Takamaki** MY BEATING  
  
**NastyCrimeBoy** DICK.  
  
**Ann Takamaki** HEAR- HASDASD. AKIRA!  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Akira wtf man.  
  
**NastyCrimeBoy** what, can't I appreciate attractive men/women/other  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** other?  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** succubus is hot and don't even try and tell me otherwise.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** fair enough, actually.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** oh my god you guys. Think with your actual heads.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** you aren't my mom.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** wait no, last time that got me severely injured  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** serves you right, Akira.  
  
 **Morgana** How can you be so cool as Joker, and yet so uncool as Akira.   
  
**RunRyujiRun** Apply Water To Burned Area.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Wow. My team are traitors, all of them. smh.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Well, anyway. Time to buy drugs from a hot doctor brb.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Should... I be worried?  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Ah, he went offline.  
  
 **Morgana** He'll be fine. Takemi is a good doctor, if a little... strange. He might be a little dopey when he gets back, that's all.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Hot doctor? *INTERESTED NOISES.*  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** down, Ryuji.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Awwww..  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** anyway, I have studying to do! See you guys later.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** ew  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Studying  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** I actually want good grades, mister. Ta ta~  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Oh, yeah. Tests. I should get on that.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** GUESS I'LL **BE BY MYSELF THEN  
  
** **Morgana** You'll cope. I'm taking a catnap.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Mooonaaaa. :C  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Ugh fine I'm gonna play games.

* * *

**NastyCrimeBoy** I hath returned, plebians.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** greetings, o great leader  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** I have something very important to show you all.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Oh! Kurusu, what's up?  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy**[This. Just. This.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLDo-jHcvAQ)  
  
 **RunRyujiRun**!!!!  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** BREAKING ZA LAAAW.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** BREAKING ZA WARUDO.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** *Clockwork dubstep fart, time stops*  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** MISHIMA!   
  
**Ann Takamaki** what is going on  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Y-yes, Sakamoto-san?  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** WAS THAT A MOTHERFUCKIN' JOJO REFERENCE  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** ZA WARUDO IS THE ULTIMATE STAND.

**Ann Takamaki** Mona help ;-;  
  
 **Morgana** I am... just as confused as you are, Lady Ann.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Lady Ann?  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** My not cat is weird, Mishima, don't worry about it.  
  
 **Morgana** She is worthy of respeajakdsjasd  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** He can have it back when he's not metaphorically wearing a fedora.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** LOL. Anyway, anyway. How was your doctor date?  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** I feel like I'm gonna pass out at any second but also wide awake someone help me.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Are you going to be okay, Kurusu-kun?  
  
**NastyCrimeBoy** I'll be fine by the morning, Takemi's stuff is always fast-acting.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Although apparently I say embarassing stuff when I'm under heavy sedation and lots and lots of drugs. like calling doc 'hot as fuck' or something.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** LADSHLASWHAT. THATS NOT ALLOWED AKIRA.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** DO YOU KNOW HOW HIGH I WAS. VERY. VERY HIGH.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** LOL. AKIRA PLEASE.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** I aim to. ;)  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Stop that. Stop being bad.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** Am I

**Ann Takamaki** whatever you are typing stop.  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** BREAKING ZA LAAAAW.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** BREAKING ZA WARUDO  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** BREAKING ZA WARUDO!  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** omg you guys. I'm out. I got a photoshoot to go to. >:I  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** send pics.   
  
**Ann Takamaki** pick up the magazine?  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** good point. Later Ann!  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Have fun!  
  
 **NastyCrimeBoy** I'm out too. Don't want Sojiro suplexing me for turning up high. See ya, bois.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Don't die!  
  
 **Youki Meshima** See ya, Kurusu-kun!

* * *

 


	4. Evening Slot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EVENING SLOT.
> 
> Shenanigans happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give me feedback yo.

**NastyCrimeBoy** Guess who can go out at night  
  
**NastyCrimeBoy** It's me.  
  
**NastyCrimeBoy** I can.  
  
**NastyCrimeBoy** Be proud.  
  
**Ann Takamaki the most proud parent.  
  
****Ann Takamaki** Ryuji our son has all grown up  
  
**Ann Takamaki** *wipes a tear*  
  
**RunRyujiRun** wait when did we bang  
  
**RunRyujiRun** ANYWAY, congrats Akira  
  
**Ann Takamaki** RYUJI.  
  
**RunRyujiRun** CONGRATS AKIRA.  
  
**RunRyujiRun** SmolCrimeBaby has evolved into BigCrimeBoy  
  
**Ann Takamaki** BIG ADVENTURES FOR BIG BOYS.

 **BigCrimeBoy** pokemon evolution music goes here.

 **Ann Takamaki** omfg akira

 **BigCrimeBoy** and as my big probation debut into the nightlife of Shibuya

 **BigCrimeBoy** I'm gonna give myself a heartattack via burger.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Hey, everyone.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Kurusu-kun, please do not commit burger assisted suicide.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** You have so much to live for, leader.  
  
**RunRyujiRun** Wait, you doing the Challenge?  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** I have nothing to live for, so yep, challenge time  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** meet you there in like 40 minutes.  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** damn straight,  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** don't encourage eachother omfg  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** doing it super hard. SEE YOU LATER.  
  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** why. Mona, can you keep an eye on them.  
  
 **Morgana** nope. Not going out tonight, I'm gonna have a cat nap.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** Morgaannaaaaa!!  
  
 **Morgana** Noooo. I haven't gotten to sit down all day.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** They are tough, Takamaki-san. Don't worry too hard  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** Ugh, fine.   
  
**Ann Takamaki** Gonna study. Don't die, morons.  
  


* * *

 **Youki Meshima** Hey, Takamaki-san?  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** whats up, Mishima? (:  
  
 **Youki Meshima** o-oh. Uhm. Have you done the homework for tomorrow?  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** WE HAVE HOMEWORK FOR TOMORROW  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** WE HAVE HOMEWO- oh hey  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** hang on gotta get in this photo  
  
 **Ann Takamaki**?  
  
 _RunRyujiRun has sent an image_  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** WTF IS THAT  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** big bang challenge yo  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** time to dig in. Wish us luck.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** That doesn't look healthy..  
  
 **Morgana** Oh dear. Good luck, Joker.  
  
 _RunRyujiRun has sent an image  
  
_ **Ann Takamaki** _TODAY JOKER DIES  
  
_ **Youki Meshima** How is he even eating that.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** I dunno but he's packing it away in seconds jfc.  
  
 _RunRyujiRun has sent an image_  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Its BEEN 5 MINUTES  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** HES HALFWAY THROUGH THAT MONSTER.  
  
 **Youki Meshima** Pray for Kurusu-kun.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Amen.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** Amen.  
  
 _RunRyujiRun has sent an image_  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** And he's done.  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** bow down towards your new burger god. It is.

 **RunRyujiRun** OH GOD   
  
**RunRyujiRun** THEY HAVE BIGGER CHALLENGES.

 **BigCrimeBoy** not fucking today zurg  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** time to throw up though. See you tomorrow, nerds.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** jfc why are you like this. Goodnight, Leader.  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** xoxoxo to you all.


	5. Fuckin' Art.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Artboy appears. Kinda.
> 
> Also, very short chapter. VERY short. Think of this as like.. a set up. Also, have too many ideas
> 
> Also, check the notes guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO yeah.
> 
> I have a few ideas for a few things. So here you go heres the ideas you thots.  
> 1)Dark Souls fic. Based off of a certain LP channels play through of Dark Souls 1.
> 
> OR.
> 
> 2.)Persona 5 fic, novella based, once again based off an LP that amused me greatly.
> 
> Gimme thoughts and ideas or something idk

**BigCrimeBoy** so thoughts on arty boy?  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** p r e t e n t i o u s

 **Ann Takamaki** don't be mean, Ryuji  >:C  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** but he kinda is admit it

 **BigCrimeBoy** he called me uncultured  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** how dare he.

 **Ann Takamaki** Well I mean.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** *innocent whistling*

 **BigCrimeBoy fucking traitors the pair of yoy  
  
 **RunRyujiRun**** sorry bro.

 **BigCrimeBoy** at least I'm hot.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** true.

 **RunRyujiRun** WHOA  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** Wait W H AT

 **Ann Takamaki** ;)  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** actually to be fair.

 **HotCrimeBoy** didn'tfuckingexpectthat  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** you are good looking.

 **BigCrimeBoy** enough of this you are making me blush you fucks  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** anyway. I'll message you nerds after art time.

 **BigCrimeBoy** later, nerds.  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** Later!


	6. Update

I'M FUCKING BACK, NERDS.

GET READY FOR UPDATES.

LETS [b]DO IT[/b]

Updating Wednesday.


	7. Getting back into the swing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> of things.
> 
> Short chapter. Next one will be longer.

**BigCrimeBoy** Well, we are now banned from Artboi under pain of death  
  
**BigCrimeBoy** or just the police, actually.

 **Youki Meshima** wat

 **Youki Meshima** what did you do now

 **BigCrimeBoy** implied Madarame was a fraud

 **RunRyujiRun** which he totally is btw

 **Ann Takamaki** the most fraud

 **BigCrimeBoy** One man has never been more fraudulent ever.

 **BigCrimeBoy** trust me, I saw his dark thoughts, he's a bad man.

 **Youki Meshima** as bad as Kamoshida?

 **Ann Takamaki** keep that name out of this pure chat.

 **Youki Meshima** Oops- Sorry?

 **RunRyujiRun** This chat isn't pure

 **Morgana** Joker's here

 **BigCrimeBoy** **I fucking despise this family.**

 **Morgana** :3c

 **RunRyujiRun** **don't ever make that face** again  
  
Morgana: you can't tell me what to do  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** true that, actually.  
  
 **Morgana :3c**  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** morgana stop being a lil shit  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** u lil shit  
  
 **Morgana** never  
  
 **Ann Takamaki** morgana  
  
 **Morgana** okay fine geez  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** well I got a new name for Ann  
  
 **The Cat Whisperer** oh no  


 **The Cat Whisperer** AKIRA NO  
  
 **The Cat Whisperer** why can't I chANGE IT?  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** your overlord is less benevolent than you thought.  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** he's gone mad with power everyone run  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** run. Whilst I sweeb.  
  
 **BigCrimeBoy** I am a sweeby boy  
  
 **RunRyujiRun** goodnig ht, dude!


End file.
